Whilst writing this review not long after hearing the song for the first time, I came to realise a few things: firstly, that for something often viewed as just so much populism, you can never really overanalyse a Madonna single enough; and secondly, that it feels great to just nail a review. With the upcoming release of her third greatest hits collection - probably the most redundant, but soon perhaps the most definitive - I thought a Madonna retrospective deserved a deeper look; and if nothing else, to have some fun doing it. So sit back and relax as I review all 74 official Madonna singles and their videos in the 47 days until Celebration’s release haha yeah, eventually.

Oh, and Iconography was far too good a name to let go - it may not have ended up the name of the compilation, but it at least titles this blog as a consolation prize.

(we’ll start at the actual beginning after this review, which’ll be updated with the benefit of hindsight after the other 73 singles…)

Album: Celebration (2009)
Songwriters: Madonna/Paul Oakenfold/Ian Green/Ciaran Gribbin
Producers: Madonna/Paul Oakenfold

A song that inexplicably manages to become way more than the sum of its not-particularly-auspicious parts - the Holiday-throwback chord progression, average vocals in the verse and blatantly mid-’90s Eurodance sound via Paul Oakenfold (Madonna being too busy undercutting the scene’s superficiality with Ray of Light the first time around). The secret? Its lightweight feel - shedding the “worship the queen” baggage and the heavier, somewhat emotional pull on Hard Candy and Confessions on a Dance Floor respectively. And that straight-outta-Everybody spoken bridge - perfectly designed for inducing hot flushes in the listener.

It’s been said that Madonna would NEVER have made it big had she been an anonymous popstar releasing 4 Minutes as her first single. But for Celebration, the idea’s surprisingly conceivable. She has to be congratulated for doing the impossible - coming full circle WITHOUT writing Holiday Part 2. I look forward to her upcoming familiarly titled singles “Starlight, Star Bright” and “Pushing My Love”…